Build it and it will break - On me…

Nick (the dog) examines the missing radio, and wonders why the top of the dash is missing.

You know about the problem with the van, but what I have not told you is that I also have some other electronics that have decided that it is time to check out of this world. Luckily they are still under warranty, at least for the next 5 days.

As it turns out, I have a knack for picking out electronics that will give up at or right around the time the warranty expires. Just last week my laptop decided to mysteriously just shut down and not start again. It didn’t matter what I would do, it would not start. All I was getting was an amber flashing power indicator on the front of the laptop. I eventually removed and replaced the battery just to see what would happen, and low and behold it fired right up. Being the nervous type that I am, I decided that a call to the laptop customer service number was in order. I gave them a call and explained the situation, along with the steps that I took to remedy the situation. They seemed genuinely worried about the laptop blowing up at any second. They said that they were “very concerned” about the situation, and advised me to take it into an authorized service center if it happened again.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have this sneaking suspicion that my computer is going to be just fine until the day after the warrantee expires, at which point it will spontaneously combust. This will be nothing unusual for me. It seems that whenever I purchase something of any complexity, the life span is determined by the warrantee. Now I could have taken out an extended warrantee, but for that price I could probably buy a new laptop in 3 years. That and the fact that I very rarely have a computer around for three years. Well, actually that is not the truth. I did keep parts of my old 486DX 50 for about 10 years, although they were just parts, and I doubt that they would ever work again.

Enough about the broken alarm and computer. Lets move on to the broken car stereo. Oh, yea! Once again, before we left Florida I had a car stereo installed so that we could listen to some snappy tunes on our way to the great white north. What we found out was that the FM receiver only picks up stations where there are people and civilization. Seeing that we were mostly traveling in the middle of nowhere, we usually had to rely on the cd player. Actually we only had one cd that I had burned and we must have listened to it about 458,043,20,954.376 times. I am actually thinking about copying it and sending it to all my relatives for Christmas. That is how close I am to this cd.

In any case, about a month ago I realized that the radio was not playing. I figured this out when I turned it on and no sound came out ( I’m quick like that…). Everything else seemed to be working just fine, but it just didn’t want to be heard. I am not sure if it was broken, or just sick of hearing the same cd a zillion times. I tried the radio - Nothing. I tried turning up the volume - Nothing. I tried threatening it - Nothing. I tried begging - Still nothing. I gave up. I figured that by the time I removed it and had it repaired, the warrantee would be over. I was wrong.

Today I checked the warrantee information and as it turns out, my particular brand was covered for 2 years, not the typical 1. Apparently the radio had some bad information and thought that it should break down at about 1 year instead of 2. So now I have to remove the radio, take it to the authorized “radio fixer”, and have them tell me that it is not fixable. At that point I will have to wait probably another 2 weeks for a replacement. Now knowing that this radio is no longer made, I have a really strong suspicion that I will be getting a new(er) model - hopefully. At that point all I have to do is pay to have the radio re-installed, and wait for the warrantee to expire again. Oh, the joys of being a technophile!!!!

When Technology goes bad...

Today we had things to do and people to see. You know, the kind of day when you actually have a schedule that makes sense and you really feel like your going to get some things done. Since my day usually consists of wandering around the house in a daze and wondering what I should do, this was a welcome change.

It started by me and Dianne going out to eat lunch at Hoggs Brothers. As it turns out, this would be the highlight of our day. If I had know what fate was about to befall me, I would have asked for a job as a dishwasher. I probably would have been happier. So we order our food (It was soooo good) and ate like we had not eaten in 2 days. Actually I think it had been 19 ½ hours or something like that…. We left just as they were closing the place. It was about 4pm and I needed to find a photo processing place that was on the same road.

Being a man I did not bother to write down the address or name of the location. I just know it was somewhere on the road we were on. “Not a problem” I keep telling Dianne. We will just drive up and down the street until we find it. Ok, after the 20th lap up and down the street I decided that I should probably find the address. So we stop at a shoe store and I ask for directions. The shoe repair guy just stares at me like I am about to rob him or something. I ask for the yellow pages, and he snaps out of his dazed stare. I quickly find the place I am looking for in the yellow pages, and quickly memorize the location. It is just a few blocks down the street anyway. I hop into the car, program Petuna - she is our “never get lost anymore GPS unit” that can find anything (Yes, we do name or electronics, especially if they talk to us…).

Now here is where the real fun begins. You see, when we left Florida we had an alarm system installed into our car with something called “Blackjack™”. What that is, is a device that prevents your car from getting stolen if you are carjacked. Ok, stop laughing. We figured if someone wanted to steal a minivan with a trailer, they wouldn’t get very far. Today we proved that theory. You see, when we pulled out of the shoe repair shop, and entered our, “oh so secret and mysterious” code into the key pad (it actually only has 2 buttons, but for what we paid I am calling it a keypad) nothing happened. We entered it again - nothing. Ok, we believe it is not working, but are not sure. So what should we do? That’s right, we ignore the problem. If we don’t acknowledge the problem, it really doesn’t exist, right? Wrong. Just like the manual said, about 30 seconds later the car dies, the lights flash, and it begins making sounds that would make a circus jealous. We are now in an alley with a dead car, lights flashing, and siren going off at full blast. No, this does not look suspicious at all…..

All efforts to enter the “secret” code fail and I am forced to walk to a business and call AAA. Just 2 short hours later the tow truck shows up and hooks us up. I help by putting the car in neutral, turning the wheel, turning off the alarm, and starting the car. Yep, the car knew that AAA was there, and decided to work. I thought about telling the tow truck driver not to worry about it, that we had just gotten it to work, but I had been waiting for 2 hours. Instead I had him tow the car to a car stereo shop where he dropped it off. I advised the shop of the situation, and promptly drove off.

Now I do have the alarm in “valet” mode which should keep it from going crazy, or at least not working until tomorrow. You see, tomorrow I will be having the “amazing costs too much” alarm system ripped out and turned into a pile of yesterdays trash. I am not even going to bother trying to figure out what is wrong with it, if anything. I decided this while waiting for 2 hours in 10 degree weather in a car that would not accept it’s little “secret code”.

We are going old school. Back to the days of actually having to unlock your car with a key. And if you have to unlock the other doors, you will have to press the power unlock button. I am actually thinking about getting one of those “clubs” that you lock to your steering wheel. Well, then again, probably not. The crime rate around here is nothing compared to where I came from. I actually told the guys at the audio shop that I had an “anti-car-jacking” device on my car, and they laughed. I found out that there are not many car jackings in Alaska.

I suppose that I will miss the little chirping bird that locked me out of the car and made me sit in a freezing alley for 2 hours. Then again, probably not.