Shake, Rattle, and Roll

This is the TV stand that only took 2 hours (half a day...) to put together

Ok, so now that we have gotten the million dollar bed we needed to set up the “do-it- yourself” TV stand so that we would have a place to put the TV. Problem is that we have to put the stand together before we can put anything on it. Since I did not see me convincing Dianne to put it together, I started the project myself. It was a small box that contained only several thousand pieces. It was like an erecter set from hell. Sure….the picture makes it look small and unassuming, but I know better. I was there -With all 734,934 pieces. The box said it would only take 2 or so hours to put together. I suppose in China that means half a day. I laughed, I cried, I jumped up and down trying to make all the tiny parts fit together. For something that looks so simple, I was amazed how hard it was to make it all fit. Oh, by the way – Yes, you can make a round peg fit in a square hole. I know, because it did it – several times. All it takes is a big enough hammer, or in my case, the back of a screwdriver. When it was all done, I was relieved to know that I too could put together something that was made by an 8 year old in China.

High class couch purchased from Home Depot

We now have a TV, a TV stand, and cable, but what do we sit on. What else would someone that just spent a million dollars on a mattress of gold sit on…..? Yea, that’s right - Lawn furniture. Not just any lawn furniture mind you, but plastic lawn furniture from Home Depot. Real high class this stuff is. I used to have the exact same one in Florida. Of course, it was in the back yard, and used to pass out on it after mowing the yard, but that was a different time and place. This is Alaska!! A place where you can drive a new $50,000 Corvette, and still live in a run down trailer, or in an abandoned school bus. Or on a street corner as the case may be (his name is Bill – Long story…). So now I have all the comforts of home, except for a dining room table. Of course I did see an empty wooden wire spool the other day. It would make a fine addition to our decor. I sure hope I get it before someone else does.

Sitting back relaxing on my high class couch, I decided that I should watch some TV. It is extremely early in the mourning (11:30am) and I wonder aloud if anything will be on. To my amazement, there are shows on this early in the morning. I guess that I should have known better. For some reason when we subscribed to the cable, the young lady that helped us out advised us that there would be some “extra – free” channels. We get over 600 channels. No – that is not an exaggeration, we really do get that may channels. I have yet to figure out what one does with all those channels, but I do get hi-def channels also. Not sure what that is, but I get them…. So there I am, sitting back, relaxing, watching a show about……Alaska. Who would have guessed? It was on The Learning Channel, so I was hoping I would learn something – I did. I learned that when one watches a show about a state that they are in, nothing good will ever come of it. I guess the neighbors did not like the show either, because they started to pound on the wall and walk really heavy on the floor. Then they started to shake the wall. Wow, they really must have not liked that show. They then proceeded to shake the ENTIRE building. Ok, ok, I turned off the TV and they still were shaking the building. About that time is when I realized that we were having an earthquake. The floor was moving back and forth, and I was scared that my drink was going to tip off my couch. Just about that time, everything settled down and the shaking stopped. I knew that this had scared the pants off of Dianne, so I ran into the bedroom to check on her. I asked if she was ok - I got yelled at for waking her up. It seems that the million dollar bed is earthquake proof. If the world around you is shaking, just jump into it and fall asleep. I suppose this is the same bed that James Bond sleeps in. After being lectured about why I should not wake up a sleeping wife, I went back to the couch to finish watching my show. I turned it on and what were they talking about???? Of course, the 1964 earthquake in Alaska that was the second largest ever recorded. It was a 9.2 and killed many people. That is when I turned the TV off and decided that I was probably better off not watching it. Later that day I would find out that the earthquake was a 4.7 and centered about 60 miles north of us. They said there were aftershocks, but I was too busy sleeping in the million dollar bed….