Dead Dogs, Gorillas, and The Bat Mobile

This is Lucky Lisa's Dead Dog Saloon. I am not sure if the dog died from karaoke poisoning or not…

This weekend Dianne decided to clean. This meant that I needed to, “get the hell out”. You see, the reason for this is that when she is cleaning, I am “touching things”. This makes them “unclean”. So I was commanded to vacate the den and find entertainment/beer elsewhere. The strange part is that the dog is never banned from the house even though he jump in mud puddles and sniffs….well, you know what dogs sniff. I decided that a nice drive would be in order. I could kill about 4-5 hours and see some interesting sights. This drive would only take me about 145 miles, but oh the places we would go, and the things we would see…

Off I went. The first thing I decided to do was go to the state fair. I figured that it was relatively close, and would offer me plenty to do while Dianne sterilized everything. As I approached an off ramp every car seemed to be getting off on, I decided not to take it. As it turns out, that was the ramp I was supposed to use. The backup seemed to be around 3 miles. Now I have been to some fairs, but they must be giving away some good stuff for someone to sit in a 3 mile long backup. At least I think that was the fair. Either that or there was a REALLY serious accident. I think it was the fair.

So off I went, past the backup, past the fair, on to the great land of the unknown. Awhile later I came upon good ol’ DEAD DOG SALOON. Now no self respecting tourist/wanna-be plumber could pass up this jem. Unfortunately I was neither hungry or thirsty, nor did I want to sing karaoke. Since I thought that just wandering around taking pictures would seem kind of weird, I decided to pass on further investigation. Than again, with a name like the Dead Dog Saloon, who knows.

Further down the road I passed several fireworks stands. I made a mental note to stop at one on the way back. On I went, past the big hill, and over the small ones. One after another they became part of my rear view mirror. Then I saw it. It was a sign for a garage sale. The garage sale is not really what interested me. It was the fact that it pointed up a dirt road into the middle of nowhere. I had to stop. I turned the car around and headed back. Up the dirt road I went. I parked in someones driveway and hopped out to scope out the garage sale scene. Being this far out, I expected to find things like trap lines, shot guns, and other really great stuff. I found that most people have the same crap. It seems that it really doesn’t matter where you are, if you are throwing a garage sale, you are getting rid of the stuff that you and nobody else wants.

The lady that greeted me was very nice and they did in fact have some good stuff. There was some very nice Canon camera equipment, and I think I may have seen a chain saw somewhere. What caught my eye was not the aged computer equipment, but the wax apple candle. Yep, this was garage sale gold. Not every day do you come across something that you can buy from a garage sale that is pretty and meant to be burned. This was almost as good as grandmas owls, except much less expensive. I haggled with her for the best wax apple price, and walked away one wax apple richer. She got a dollar out of the deal. I think she may have won that one. In any case, she was quite friendly and asked if I needed anything else. I looked around and decided that one wax apple was enough for one day. I hopped in the car and headed back to civilization.

I kept asking myself, “where does one go to get a Bikini for a gorilla”?

One the way back I stopped at a fireworks stand. It had a large black gorilla in a pink/orange bikini. This was the reason I stopped. I thought about buying fireworks, but then wondered to myself where I would set them off. Anchorage is not really spread out as far as housing is concerned, and I could just see me setting a house on fire. I nixed the idea of fireworks due to lawsuit reasons. I took some pictures of the gorilla, and the bat mobile. Yes, they had a car made up to look like the bat mobile. Either that, or it really was the bat mobile, and the bat cave was really in a fireworks stand. This place was strange in a very strange way. After the photo session I was on the road again. Just an easy 2 hour ride and hopefully Dianne would have the house spotless. That is until I got home…

This is the original Batmobile. It was sold on e-bay for $3.63. Jerrys Discount Fireworks is in the background (they do not have a giant gorilla).

Mist AND Massage!!!

This is the new shower head (pressure washer) and tools.

This weekend I felt like buying some tools, so I suggested that we get a new shower head. The one that we used to have was small and ineffective. That and the fact that it seemed to be saving way too much water. We got our water bill and it was only $13. Yep, $13 bucks. I thought it was a joke at first, but now we have a $20 electric bill and a $13 water bill. I was used to paying close to $100 a month for water in Florida, and it didn’t even smell like oranges or anything. So now here I am with all this savings, and nothing to spend it on. I decided that a new high-flow, super pressure, extra water shower head would be a nice addition to the bathroom. That and the fact that I figured that I would be able to get at least 2 new tools out of the deal. So I broached the subject with Dianne. I asked her if she thought that a new shower head would be a good idea for the bathroom. In true Dianne fashion, she asked me what was wrong with the one we had now. I then had to explain to her that it did not have 10 different setting, a cord, or a pressure washing feature for the dog. She stated that if I wanted one I could get it, but it better not need a dozen tools to install. I assured her that it would only take about 2-3 tools to install, and she would love her new shower head.

So off to the local mega-giant hardware store we went. Once we found the plumbing section, it was an easy 20 minute walk to the shower heads to pick out the one that we wanted. Soon after arriving at the shower head display area, one of the stores finest arrived and asked if he could help. I told the gentleman that I was looking for a shower head that would make me feel like I was in a Florida swamp in the middle of summer. He quickly headed the other direction not to be seen again. After about an hour of debate, and much arm wrestling, we decided on one that did everything. It was like the Swiss Army knife of shower heads. If we ever got lost in the bathroom, all we would have to do was to whip out the shower head, and all would be well.

Now no self respecting wanna-be plumber would be caught dead without several new tools for installing a Swiss Army shower head, so off to the tool coral we went. I was eyeing a pair of gooseneck/channel lock/slip joint/teeth remover pliers. Call em’ what you will, they are necessary for any plumbing project. After picking out the absolute largest pair I could find, Dianne reminded me that I was changing a shower head, not a tire. I pondered her words for a second and then asked the obvious question, “what did you say?”. She just rolled her eyes and grabbed my tool, er…, pliers that is. She replaced it with something that was much smaller and probably better suited for plumbing than car repair. She said, “Here, you will use this”. I hesitantly agreed, all the while staring at my tire changing tool. Just at that moment, Dianne asked if I needed a pair of needle nose pliers. I answered, “Ahh…of course I do…how did you know”? She said that on the pictures of parts needed there was a pair of needle nose pliers listed. I had no idea why someone would need a pair of needle nose pliers for installing a shower head, but I quickly picked out the largest pair I could find. Once again, Dianne rolled her eyes and replaced them with something a little more suitable for plumbing.

On the way to the check out I grabbed some Teflon tape and a table saw. The table saw never got past the display counter, but Dianne said it was a nice try anyway. We checked out and headed home to install our new 2006 model do-it-all and then some shower head.

As it turns out, this particular model was capable of not the government mandated 2.5 gpm max flow, but with some simple modification an impressive 8.0 gpm!!! I quickly removed all the flow restriction devices with the needle nose pliers and off we went. After about 20 minutes the shower head was installed. I decided that I would need to take it on its maiden voyage and hurriedly climbed into the shower. I turned on the water and the shower made squirting/hissing noise at me. It shook violently and then spit out a nice flow of water. I think this setting was called, “Soft spring rain”. I quickly turned it to the number 3 setting, “misting massage”. I was greeted by a soft spray that felt like I was traveling through a cloud. I really liked this setting, but it would probably take me 3 years and a day to get the soap rinsed off of me. Feeling curious I moved the little lever under the shower head all the way to the right. I think that is what allowed “max flow” to the unit. I decided to try out the pressure washer setting. I turned the dial and heard the shower head groan again. That was the last thing I remember before Dianne came running in. She said I was screaming to, “Turn it off, turn it off”, but I don’t remember that. Apparently the “pressure washing” setting was a tad bit stronger than I was anticipating. It had knocked me over and was quickly blowing a hole in my back. As it turns out, 8.0 gpm is somewhere close to the amount of water a fire hydrant will give off. It is really not that great of a thing to have in a shower. After Dianne dressed my wounds and dried off my pock marked skin we decided that we would only use the pressure washer setting for removing rust from old car parts, and putting out fires in the apartment.

Tools R' Us

Lately I have found that the best way to get new tools is to convince the wife that she wants them. Now this would usually not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but I have found a way around all the problems. The way it works is this:

First, you make a suggestion that the house could really use a new… Flower pot, picture, bathroom sink, door mat, ect. Just make sure you avoid things like… new carpet, wallpaper, bathtub, or 3rd bedroom. The trick here is to suggest something that the wife wants, but will not cause you 2 days or more of work, and a thrown out back. After the wife agrees with you is when the real fun begins. You will then have to let her know that to do the new project, you will need a new tool (or 8...). Don’t let them convince you that you already have a box full of tools that will work. Just let them know that to do the job right, you will need a new tool. Usually this will involve a trip to the local Home Labyrinth. This way you will have the widest selection of tools available to choose from. You will also be able to tell the wife that you were comparison shopping for the cheapest brand. They always like that.

As an example, last week I suggested that we get some new flowers to put out on the porch. I said they would look nice, and it would cheer things up. What I didn’t say was that they were also 75% off and she could buy about 423 potted plants for $8.23. I had been driving by the local hardware store waiting until they put the flowers on sale - I was setting this one up. Now once we arrived at the hardware store, I suggested that she go look for plants, and I would kill some time looking around. Yea, looking around in the hardware section. So off we flew to our prospective corners.

I gathered all the necessary equipment that I wanted needed and headed back to Dianne. Once I found her, I saw that she was bidding on a pallet of hanging flowers. They looked wilted enough, and the bidding was only at $4.65. At this point I was more concerned about how we were going to get the 423 or so potted plants home. After about 15 minutes she won the auction. It seems she was the only one bidding… Later I will have to explain to her how auctions work. So we proceeded to the checkout. That is when she asked me what all the new tools were for. I explained that the laser level was to make sure that we had the hooks perfectly level and on center. The new drill bits were to make sure that we were able to drill perfect holes. The new drill looks really nice with the new bits - it’s kind of like the way you always buy a new purse with new shoes. She mumbled something about a tape measure, and how our old drill and bits worked fine last week, but I paid it no attention.

The Ant and the Grasshopper...

This weekend I stepped in a puddle that went up to my ears. I am now using the baseboard heaters to dry my running/hiking/walking/snow shoes.

Up until today it has rained for about 17 days straight. Usually it was just a light rain, but for the past 2 days, it has been a constant non-stop downpour. The rivers are swelling, and the Parks highway (road to Denali and Fairbanks) has been washed out in at least 2 places. Great. Now not only can I not get to Denali, but the second largest city in Alaska is out of my reach. We are an island unto ourselves.

Fearing the worst, yesterday Dianne went to Blockbuster and rented 47 movies. Since they are due back in 5 days, I figure that if I watch them back to back I should be done with them in a week and a half. Luckily I really don’t want to watch most of them. It seems if you let a wife alone in a video store, they tend to get the more, “girlie” type movies. Luckily for me she is very much “girlie”. I on the other hand I will be forced to watch Kung Fu theater. I purchased the entire 1st season, and it appears to have about 50 disks with about 532 episodes. I have already watched the first disk and a half. It was about 12 hours of Kung Fu. I figure by the time I finish watching the series, I should be a full blown Showlin Master. I will be able to snatch the grasshopper, and walk on the pebble, or something like that…

I was woken up this morning by hurricane force winds blowing my blinds open and shut. What was worse was that someone was shining a zillion watt flashlight through my window making it hard for me to sleep. After about 15 minutes of slamming the blinds open and shut, I decided to get up and close the window. What I saw was amazing. It was sunshine. I looked directly at it. I was blinded. I looked away. I saw spots. It had been 17 days since I had seen sunshine, and I was happy to see it still existed. I quickly woke up Dianne and we made plans for a day filled with sunshine. We talked about the park, walking on a trail, going to the zoo, and many other things we could do. We jumped into the shower so that we could get going as soon as possible. We only had one fight over the soap, and several scuffles over who would rinse off first. Dianne won on account that she is the wife, and sets the mood for the house. I figured the extra “soap time” would just get me that much cleaner. After she was done, she hopped out and dried off. When I came out I was informed that we would not be doing anything today. I had let her rinse off first, so I knew that was not it. She told me that it was raining again. I thought she was kidding until I looked out the window. She wasn’t kidding. I told her that I had a back up plan. We would go looking for sausage. She quickly told me that she was not in the mood and she had a headache. I then explained to her that we were going to look for Reindeer sausage. She quickly agreed and off we went. Our search for sausage was fruitful, and we ate many samples. The only problem was that the sample that we liked the most was just sold out, and a new order will not be in until Friday of next week. I will have to wait for my sausage.

After having been disappointed by the weather and the sausage, we decided to get a bite to eat - nothing fancy, just something under $245. That limited our choices, so we decided to go to a dinner. We were seated, ordered or meals and received our food. The meal was unimpressive, but listening to the Strange conversations around us made up for the mediocre quality of the food. One table was debating where the worst coffee was served, while another was discussing the merits of flannel vs. wool (I was wearing cotton). My favorite was when we were leaving. A bunch of guys were discussing the merits of sleeping in a rental car while in Las Vegas to save money on a hotel room. Another one in the group suggested sleeping at a slot machine in a corner of one of the smaller casinos ( I believe I have done that before - not on purpose, but staying up for 36 hours at a time tends to do that to you).

Now on our way home, the rain starts to lighten, the mountains become visible, and that is when I saw the problem. You see, the mountain tops were covered with dandruff. Ok, it was snow, and in some places it looked like a lot of snow. Now I am no expert, but isn’t this is the middle of August? Are we supposed to have snow on the mountains this soon? This little bit of information tells me that from now on, it is only going to get colder. That means that I will have to go get winter clothes. Yes, I am still wearing shorts and a t-shirt, even though it is like 42 degrees outside. I am hoping that they sell really cheap winter clothes, because I still haven’t paid off the bed yet. I also need to get studded tires. We have a rear wheel drive car and I could just see us spinning in circles on the first day that the roads ice over. Oh yea, and that pesky little block heater. That will need to be installed also. I really am going to need my car to start in the morning after it has been sitting all night in sub zero temps. So yes, I do have a lot to get done next week. I may even have to start one of those to-do lists that people talk about so much.

Alaskan Crap

This is the breakfast of garage sale champions. I still don't understand what they are trying to say to us.

This past weekend was quite unique. We did something that I Never do. We went garage sale hopping. I actually pulled up all the garage sales in the Anchorage area and we actually went to them one by one. Just to let you know, the entire day we did not see one gun, rocket, or missile launcher. I was very disappointed. By the time we were done, I realized several thing about myself that I never knew before. The first and foremost is that I am a “garage sale snob”. I learned that I really don’t like other peoples crap. If they put it out on a table, it probably should be thrown away, not sold. Dianne did not agree with me, so we searched on anyway. Second I found that I have a strange curiosity towards the weird and bizarre. To give you an example, one garage sale advertised that they were selling, “grandmas owls”. The only reason that I even agreed to go garage sale hopping was to find out what “grandmas owls” really were. Well, that and the 2 dozen railroad ties that were for sale…

We got lost and found homes that we will never be able to afford. That is an airstrip in front of the houses.

We went to several houses that I would estimate to be worth several millions, and I found that the strangest garage sale crap jewels came from them. The first example would be a great house on a mountain that looked like something I would buy if I was a zillionaire. They had antique answering machines, a Mac classic, several “tube” radios, and a Commodore 64. I sold a Commodore 64 when I left Florida for $5. It came with a 1541 hard drive, monitor, printer, and hundreds of games. At this garage sale they wanted $7 just for the computer itself. I think I now know how they got so rich… They were also selling railroad ties. I just stopped and stared. I think they wanted like $12 each for them. I just wanted to know how you were going to get them home. These things were big! What I was really interested in was the Snow Cat in the second house barn. I don’t think it was for sale, but it looked really cool.

We continued doing this the entire day. Dianne would get out and look around and I would sit in the car waiting to hear if this was the house with grandmas owls. We never found grandmas owls, so we decided to give up and go to lunch.

Lunch was at a Mexican restaurant that I will call, “hot sauce hell”. They actually used the hot sauces that so many people collect for decoration. You know, the ones with the names like Black widow, Death in a Bottle, Slap my ass and call me Sally. Well, they not only used them, but got quite a kick out of seeing people eat there “tainted” foods. I would take a bite of there “salsa” and scream from pain. Several seconds later you would hear faint laughter coming from the kitchen area. I invited Dianne to partake in the tainted food from hell. Not knowing the strength of the hot sauce, she quickly downed a mouthful. She screamed, her eyes watered, she drank both our glasses of water. I snickered under my breath. I thought to myself, “the kitchen staff isn’t the only one enjoying this…”. She looked at me through tear stained cheeks, and asked, “why would you do that to me”? All I could say was, “misery loves company - I love you honey“. I stared to snicker, but it was interrupted by a big glob of hot sauce being pushed down my throat. I desperately grasped for water - There was none to be found. I learned that you do not mess with a pissed off wife that has hot sauce at her disposal.

After surviving the inferno laced Mexican food, we decided to go home and take a nap. Hopefully we could sleep through the pain that was coursing through our mouths and stomachs (later it would be other areas that we were more concerned about…). On the way home Dianne found another garage sale sign that I had left off our list of places to be disappointed at. She turned down the street and into an Alice and Wonderland Maze. I figured if we ever found this place, it would be filled with jewels of epic proportion. I would be sadly mistaken again.

She did manage to find the garage sale. Once again, she got out and looked while I stayed in the car and wondered when I would get feeling back in my tongue. Minutes later she came rushing back to the car like there was a .50 BMG for only .25 cents. I quickly rushed out of the car to get the mispriced weapon of my dreams. I was greeted by not a BMG, but Grandmas collection of owls. They were everywhere. Not only were they everywhere, but they were as old and strange as anything you could imagine. It looked like a 50-60’s revival fest in that garage. The owls were not only old and scary, but overpriced. This was something that I had come to expect from garage sales, but they had taken it to a whole other level. Grandma was making a profit on those owls. I think she wanted a dollar for every year of there strange lives. I wanted to take a picture of the owls, but was afraid that they would charge me for each picture. Either that or try to steal my camera and sell it for $430,543,780,543.99. I would gladly split the profits with them.

Dianne wanted to keep this, but I insisted that it must go to her mother.

So after finding that we could not afford grandmas owls, that hot sauce is sometimes “no kidding - really hot”, and that rich people have the strangest crap, we decided to head home. It was not a total wasted day though. Dianne was able to purchase a product that she will be giving to her mom. It is a “Grow a Boyfriend doll”. All you have to do is add water, and in 72 hours you have a new mate. Granted, you have to soak him in the bath tub for several days, but that is just a small price to pay for the perfect guy. Luckily there was only one, so I am safe for now.

The Last Frontier

Budweiser - The last Frontier...

No, this is not the worlds largest bottle of Bud ( I wish it was though). I found something very interesting about the beer in Alaska. It seems that Budweiser has changed it center label from there trademark A.B. with the names of 5 continents (Asia, Australia, Europe, Africa, and America), to the Alaskan grizzly and a banner with the words, “The Last Frontier”. I have traveled all over the country, and never seen anything like this. I am wondering if this is the only state that Budweiser does this for. I have never had a Bud in New York with the empire state building on it. In Florida they don’t have a label with an orange on it. In California I have never seen a label that declared, “One good shake, and we’re outa here”. Even the great state of Texas is without representation (although I think they should have a picture of an interstate and the logo that declares, “I-10 - it just goes on forever…). So here we are all by ourselves. It’s just us and this special Bud label to keep us going. I wonder what other great and mysterious things are labeled differently up here. I have checked several bags of chips, and a can of nuts, and they do not seem to have anything special on them. As of now I have gone through half our cabinets and Dianne is now chasing me around with a broom yelling at me to stop destroying her kitchen. I tried to explain the importance of label research and all, but she seemed too concerned that I was digging for the Chex Mix and knocking over the Stove Top. I will have to keep checking and report back with my findings as soon as I am allowed back in the kitchen.

Just another day at the DMV

Today was the, ”go to the DMV day“. I have no idea why, but it was. I went to the DMV, told the worker that I wanted my Alaskan drivers license, and free money. She hurriedly handed me a piece of paper, told me to fill it out and come back. After filling out all the necessary blanks, I was advised that I would be testing at station 10. Wait one second!! I don’t want any test, I just want a license, and free money. I was dually informed that to qualify for a license and free money you must prove that you are smart enough to pass a written exam. I have no idea why I need to pass a drivers exam for free money, but I suppose it has something to do with the cold weather and snow.

So off I went to my little cubical of hell to play with a computer that thinks it’s smarter than I am. So the first question I am asked is what state I am taking this test in. After that first question, I figure it will not be so bad after all. That is where things started to go down hill. I was asked question that resembled 10th grade algebra questions. One asked, “A car and a train set out a 2 p.m. from different points, headed towards each other. The average speed of the car is 30 mph slower than twice the speed of the train. In two hours, the car is part of the train. What is the rate of speed of the car, and what is the blood alcohol level of the driver when he hit the train.” I was more interested in what the blood alcohol level of the person that wrote the test was. It took me the better part of 30 minutes to answer 20 questions. Most of them I was covering my eyes and just hitting the screen at random areas. As it turns out, the decision between pass or fail came down to one question - the last and only question left on the test. I was supposed to know how far back to stay from an emergency vehicle. Well, as many times as I have chased them as they have gone down my street, I have never had the opportunity to stop one and ask one while there lights were on. I was usually too busy, Oh, say, stopping, and pulling to one side so they could pass. Call me crazy, but I just like to see them getting to where they need to go without me following on there heals. Well, as it turns out, you can chase these emergency vehicles as long as you stay back 500’. Now, I am not sure if you can follow them through red lights, or down the wrong side of traffic, but as long as you stay back 500’ you should be good to go.

I did get the question right. The only reason that I got it right was because it was the highest number that they offered. If they had had one that said 1.5 miles I would have picked that one. I try to stay as far away from emergency vehicles as possible. No matter what the test says, I still think 500’ is a bit too close.

So now I am now longer a Floridian (there is a God…) and am now an….. Hey, what do they call people in Alaska? Am I an Alaskanite? How about a snow cone? Perhaps an Eskimo? Who knows. I am going to have to look that one up. I know for a fact that I am a Cheechako, but what other great and glorious names can I call myself?

Other than that, I have an Alaskan driver license with me and a picture of Denali behind me. I wonder if they are trying to tell me something - am I too big? I can now also vote in Alaska. I wonder if they are disenfranchised her as much as they are in Florida. I bet if I wanted to I could vote here, and in Florida. I bet that would be worth the plane trip.

So the day was all about getting free money, multiple states to vote in, and beer. Oh yea, I forgot to mention the Peanut Farm. They have really great nachos, and there beer isn’t half bad either. Perhaps tomorrow I will share the secret that Budweiser keeps with Alaska. I have traveled all over the country, and never seen what I have seen here (as far a beer goes…). Not only is Alaska slightly different, so is the beer that is imported here. That will have to wait till tomorrow. It is getting late, and I think I hear a bear knocking at the door.

How much for that bear in the window?

Only in Alaska would you see a sign like this....

Today we decided that we were going to go to Whittier to book seats on a glacier cruise. This was for when Diannes mother comes up to visit in about a month. The drive is about an hour and is very scenic. On the way there we saw several mountain goats hanging out on rocky cliffs high above us. Other than that and the fisherman, there was not much wildlife out to be seen. I suppose they were all resting from a long weekend of partying.

As we arrive in Whittier I notice that the town is rather dead for this time of year, especially for a Sunday. We drive around, and finally spot location we are looking for (Phillips 26). Dianne finds a parking spot and pulls in and parks. As we are walking up to the location, I realize that it is rather small, and does not seem to be occupied by anyone.

Upon entering the location, we are greeted by a friendly woman that asks us how she can be of assistance to us. We explain that we are having guests visit us in about a month, and would like to book seats for a Glacier cruise. She quickly explains the cost, length of cruise, and type of vessel we would be traveling in. We are very pleased at this point and decided that we would like to book right then. That is when she told us that we would have to either call the number on the brochure, or go to Anchorage. We just came from Anchorage…. It seems that they do not take reservations at the information center that is run by the cruise ship. We chalk it up to a learning experience and decide to get something to eat.

Walking around we once again notice that not much is open. It seemed to be rather strange due to cruise ship being in port. We drove a little further and discovered several restaurants on the waterfront. One restaurant even had “pet” reindeer. The problem with all these restaurants was that not only were they incredibly small, but they seemed to think that there food was gold plated. I believe most wanted anywhere from $8-10 for a cheeseburger. Now I don’t mind paying for quality food, but what I saw coming out of the kitchen in some of these places, and it was not “quality”. It would be more akin to the forgotten stepchild of bad fast food. So off we went, back home. The only problem was that now the wait for the tunnel was 30 min. We decided to use that time to explore and see more of the town. After finally finding a vertical muddy dirt road that looked like it lead to the middle of nowhere, we decided that this would be the road we would follow for the next 15 min, or until we were lost in the woods. We took it. The road did not disappoint us. It was filled with knee deep pot holes, and sheer drops that would have easily made us late by about 30 years had we fallen off one. Finally we reached a bridge that crossed a stream. The sign said, “cross at your own risk”. What really worried me though, was the fact that it looked like it had been made 40 years ago with 2X4’s and old fallen trees. The bridge was not in good shape. We decided to turn around and head back. We arrived just in time for the tunnel to open. We drove through and started our journey home.

This is Matilda. She is an escapee from the circus. She came to live in Alaska, and now works the tourist scene.

On the way back, we noticed several dozen cars parked along the side of the road. This is usually a good sign of wildlife. We stopped and were able to see a large black bear eating along the edge of a pond. It was quite large for a black bear, and seemed more interested in finding food than being watched by all the people stopping. It would wander a few feet and then scavenge for more food. Finally it decided that it had had enough of being watched and headed back into the woods. We stayed for several minutes hoping that it would reappear, but it had decided that a second showing was not in order.

After about a half of an hour Dianne screamed, “GOAT”!!! I looked up on the cliffs, but was unable to see any goat. Dianne then said, “No, the goat is in the road”! I looked off on the side of the highway, and there standing in the road was a mountain goat with about 20 people around it taking its picture. The closest people were no more than 10 feet from the goat. It didn’t seem to care in the least. It was just looking around hoping that someone had a nice tasty root, or whatever mountain goats eat. Perhaps an extra value meal from McDonalds. We did not stop due to all the cars parked on the side of the road, but it is always interesting to see how wildlife can stop traffic.

Although we did not get to book the cruise, we did have a very interesting and scenic drive to and from Whittier. We were able to see our first Alaskan Black bear. This in itself was worth the trip. We were also able to see a crazy mountain goat that came down off the rocky cliffs to say hello to everyone. All in all it was a good trip and well worth the time it took to drive.