Just another day at the DMV

Today was the, ”go to the DMV day“. I have no idea why, but it was. I went to the DMV, told the worker that I wanted my Alaskan drivers license, and free money. She hurriedly handed me a piece of paper, told me to fill it out and come back. After filling out all the necessary blanks, I was advised that I would be testing at station 10. Wait one second!! I don’t want any test, I just want a license, and free money. I was dually informed that to qualify for a license and free money you must prove that you are smart enough to pass a written exam. I have no idea why I need to pass a drivers exam for free money, but I suppose it has something to do with the cold weather and snow.

So off I went to my little cubical of hell to play with a computer that thinks it’s smarter than I am. So the first question I am asked is what state I am taking this test in. After that first question, I figure it will not be so bad after all. That is where things started to go down hill. I was asked question that resembled 10th grade algebra questions. One asked, “A car and a train set out a 2 p.m. from different points, headed towards each other. The average speed of the car is 30 mph slower than twice the speed of the train. In two hours, the car is part of the train. What is the rate of speed of the car, and what is the blood alcohol level of the driver when he hit the train.” I was more interested in what the blood alcohol level of the person that wrote the test was. It took me the better part of 30 minutes to answer 20 questions. Most of them I was covering my eyes and just hitting the screen at random areas. As it turns out, the decision between pass or fail came down to one question - the last and only question left on the test. I was supposed to know how far back to stay from an emergency vehicle. Well, as many times as I have chased them as they have gone down my street, I have never had the opportunity to stop one and ask one while there lights were on. I was usually too busy, Oh, say, stopping, and pulling to one side so they could pass. Call me crazy, but I just like to see them getting to where they need to go without me following on there heals. Well, as it turns out, you can chase these emergency vehicles as long as you stay back 500’. Now, I am not sure if you can follow them through red lights, or down the wrong side of traffic, but as long as you stay back 500’ you should be good to go.

I did get the question right. The only reason that I got it right was because it was the highest number that they offered. If they had had one that said 1.5 miles I would have picked that one. I try to stay as far away from emergency vehicles as possible. No matter what the test says, I still think 500’ is a bit too close.

So now I am now longer a Floridian (there is a God…) and am now an….. Hey, what do they call people in Alaska? Am I an Alaskanite? How about a snow cone? Perhaps an Eskimo? Who knows. I am going to have to look that one up. I know for a fact that I am a Cheechako, but what other great and glorious names can I call myself?

Other than that, I have an Alaskan driver license with me and a picture of Denali behind me. I wonder if they are trying to tell me something - am I too big? I can now also vote in Alaska. I wonder if they are disenfranchised her as much as they are in Florida. I bet if I wanted to I could vote here, and in Florida. I bet that would be worth the plane trip.

So the day was all about getting free money, multiple states to vote in, and beer. Oh yea, I forgot to mention the Peanut Farm. They have really great nachos, and there beer isn’t half bad either. Perhaps tomorrow I will share the secret that Budweiser keeps with Alaska. I have traveled all over the country, and never seen what I have seen here (as far a beer goes…). Not only is Alaska slightly different, so is the beer that is imported here. That will have to wait till tomorrow. It is getting late, and I think I hear a bear knocking at the door.