This is the "fan on a stick". It and the "box fan" are the only sources of a/c in the house.

Ok, this was written about 4 days ago before I got sick. I was stricken with the stomach flu/food poisoning/Norwalk virus/Ebola/Hemorrhagic fever. I have since recovered and am thinking about bottling the funk and selling it as a celebrity weight loss gimmick. I would probably make millions and become famous in my own rite. Other than that, the weather has since dropped to a reasonable 62 degrees, and all is well again.

What is going on here? I just checked the weather forecast and it said that the current temperature is 70 degrees. It then went on to say it felt like 77!! Yea, no kidding. I was under the assumption that Alaska was supposed to be a relatively cool place in the summer. I am here, and I can tell you that 77 is not cool. Granted, it is not 96 with 493% humidity like in Florida, but it is still noticeably not cool. I am being informed that this “heat wave” will be going on for another 2 days. Great. 2 days that I will have to endure summer like conditions.

On the other hand, I don’t have to worry about how low I am going to keep the A/C. That is primarily due to the fact that I don’t have one. Nope, not even a vent in the ceiling or floor. No A/C for me. I guess that is a bit of a shock seeing that back in good old Florida where I ran from, I not only had 1 A/C unit, but 2. Yea, I had 2 units pushing out 3 ½ tons of ice cold air every day. For those that are interested, that is a total of 7 tons of frigid delight. For fun I used to drop it down to 40 and see how cold I could get the house. I did that once for an entire month until I got the bill. After picking myself up off the floor I decided that I should curb my A/C addiction. The bill was just north of $500. That was for the entire month of July one year. My average bill during the summer would be about $350-$400.

That is why I am so upset with this whole new “no air conditioning” thing. All I have to cool me down are 2 fans. One is a box fan, and the other is a fan on a stick. They both seem to do a fair job of keeping me cool, so I guess I shouldn’t complain that much. What really upset me is when I got the bill this past month. It seems that Dianne has been paying the bills and not telling me how much they were. As I remember, she always went to great lengths to bring the bill to my attention in Florida, but perhaps I am being paranoid…

That is why I was so shocked to find that our electric bills have been running around $20-$40 a month. No, not $200-$400, just $20-$40. I thought it was a joke, or a very serious mistake that I was hoping would last. Since I do not like surprises, especially when they come in the form of having my electricity turned off, I called the power company. They informed me that the bill was correct and that it was actually a little high for this time of year. I almost passed out. Now I know how everyone can afford to drive around in those new 4X4 pick up trucks.

Since we are saving so much money on electricity, I decided that shopping for a new vehicle was perhaps in order. I broached the subject with Dianne, and she agreed that we could go truck shopping, as long as we got whatever she wanted. It sounded like a good deal, and so we agreed that over the weekend we would go shopping if nothing came up. Later that day, somthing came up...

Dianne looked at me and said, “you don’t look so well”. I looked back at her as I was running for the bathroom. I stayed there, huddled in a small ball for the better part of 4 days, while the disease slowly ate away at my very being. On the 4 day, I came out and announced that I was feeling slightly better. Dianne quietly asked how much better. I replied that I was feeling like eating again after 4 days, but only something, “easy on the stomach”. She suggested, eggs, toast, Jell-O, and all sorts of various bland goodies. I replied that I wanted a Philly cheese steak and a white pizza. Beer would be nice also I added. She stared at me like I was a ghost. Actually I might very well have looked like a ghost after sleeping and not eating for that long.

We agreed that we would cut out the beer and pizza, but the cheese steaks could stay as long as we added in a healthy salad and chicken wings (No, not more of those!!). We later switched the chicken wings to chicken strips. We figured it would be much healthier, and easier for me to digest without all that sauce.