Sauce Wonderfull Sauce

Last Monday Dianne we decided that in honor of the coming winter and all the isolation it brings that we should go on diets. At first I was adamantly opposed to this idea. I argued that diets were not healthy and that they only caused weight gain in the long run. She gave me the, “yea, right look, and it was over”. I had once again been defeated by my better half. I asked when this self imposed misery was to begin. She informed me that next Monday we would start our “new” diets. I have no idea why she calls it a “new” diet. We have done this numerous times, and there is nothing new about starving or eating tasteless food. I quickly bolted out the door and headed to Taco Bell. I wasn’t going down without a fight. When I came back, Dianne asked where I had been. I told her that I was saying goodbye to an old friend. She smiled and reminded me that we had just moved here and didn’t have any friends, much less “old” friends. I quickly advised her that I was saying goodbye to Mr. Burrito Supreme, and Mrs. Chicken soft taco. She just rolled her eyes and walked away. I sat down and started making a list of all the things I would need to eat in the next week to make up for the next 3 months of starvation.

About an hour later I was done with my masterpiece. I believe I had at least 27 food items that would need to be made and eaten in the span of one week. Dianne looked at the list and chuckled. I asked her what she was laughing for. She said that there was no way that I could eat all that food in one week. I told her, “ya wanna bet”? Once again she just looked at me and stated, “we have no room in the freezer or refrigerator. Where are you going to put all this stuff”? Again I had forgotten that one vital piece of the puzzle - storage. She told me that I could have one thing on the list, and that was it. We needed to clear out the refrig. I quickly looked at my list pondering what it was going to be. Would I choose a large pizza with Skittles? Perhaps it would be deep fried biscuits stuffed with peanut butter on top of a bed of cheese grits. Oh, my mind raced to figure out this problem. Suddenly it hit me. It would have to be sauce. Yes, sauce, but not just any sauce - My Sauce. This is a sauce that causes neighbors to knock on your door asking to borrow a cup at 10:30 at night. The only problem with this sauce is that it takes 2-3 days to make. It cooks slowly in a crock pot on low for most of the time until it is united with its eventual partner. All the while the ingredients slowly reducing, melding and mixing into a harmony of flavors.

There is one problem though. What to put the great and wonderful sauce on, in, or around? The possibilities were endless. It could be any one of a thousand choices. I asked Dianne and she suggested several very good ones, but nothing that would stay with me for those long lonely 3 months. Then it hit me. I would make Manicotti. It was the perfect balance between fancy and just plain. Normally I would choose to make a nice seven layer lasagna, but due to time constraints and very little room in the refrig, I was motivated to go with manicotti. It is the perfect balance between an elegant 5 star dinner, and a drive through meal at Wendy’s.

The sauce is done, and I am hoping that Dianne gets home soon before it is all “tasted away”. Tonight the sauce will be atop luscious manicotti noodles filled with some of the most decadent ricotta and mozzarella filling known to mankind. It will be baked to perfection, and topped with a secret blend of cheeses that even now makes my knees weak thinking about. The greatness can, and will only last until sundown on the first of October, for the next day will be Monday. I will remember it as “Black Monday”. The day the manicotti was not to be eaten again.