Tails, Tags, and Plates

This is how I plug in my electric car. I think the thing to the right is an Alaskan mosquito.

So now it’s official. We have a tail, tags, and plates. I guess this means that we are ready to get a ticket in winter. Ok, ok, let me explain. First the tail. Last week I took the car in to get a block heater installed. This is a little device that plugs into your engine block and keeps your cars engine warm in the winter. It also does other nifty things like keep you radiator fluid in a liquid state, and not a solid. But the really cool part about it is that you have to plug your car into the wall for the whole thing to work. So sticking out of the front of most of the vehicles in Alaska you will find a little cord. I prefer to call it a tail. Of course a tail is usually on the back of a vehicle, but who cares, this is my fantasy and I will live it just the way I want to.

Being that I will now have to plug my car into the wall at night in the winter, I am going to make the assumption that I now have an electric car, or at least at night when I plug it in. This being the case, I am thinking very strongly about taking a tax credit for having a hybrid/electric car next tax session. I figure my car is running because it is using electricity right? Anything for a tax break. (Side note: If the IRS is reading this, it is just a joke - I always pay all my taxes, and never cheat - not even a little…).

The tags part. Ah, yes. You see, in the Anchorage area they are concerned about the quality of air we breath, or lack there of. Think Los Angles and you will get the picture. So every car that is older than 3 days, 5 hours, and 7 minutes must get an emissions test. This is not the part that I am concerned about. The part that upset me was the paying the 80 some dollars to be told that my car was well within the limits. For this I received a nifty little sticker that goes on the lower left side of the windshield and says that my car is a good (non-polluting) vehicle for 2 more years.

And finally the plates. So today I went back to the DMV to get my Alaska title, registration and tags. All I had to do was to bring proof of passing the emissions test, clean Florida title and registration, proof of insurance, a filled out form that resembled the 1040 long form, oh, and about $133. You also had to bring much patiences. The wait at the DMV was about 45 minutes. My number was 198. When I sat down they were calling 162. I eventually was called. I explained what I needed done, and after about 20 minutes I to had Alaskan plates. I quickly drove home and bolted them on. There shininess was a stark contrast against the dirt colored green of the van. I just can’t wait to get them so filthy that they will be impossible to read. I give it about a week, or the first rain.

Now I am prepared for winter (yea, right…) and have tags. All that is left to do is go shopping for a new set of studded tires. I am looking for the longest, meanest, biggest studs out there. I want this van to look like something out of a Mad Max movie. I just can’t wait for people to look over and see the “dirt green” beast. Children will cry, women will run, the wife will say, “what the hell were you thinking?” I will have a minivan that will be able to drive on ice, up hills, and over moose.